Valentines just started dating Cams hermaphrodites

(The human heart isn’t shaped that way, by the way, it’s shaped like a fist.) But the world remains consistently kind of uninterested in truth and representations of love are often baseless.

Valentine’s Day, like the weather and cable companies, doesn’t care about the intricacies of your individual situation.

If you want to be dating them for a hot minute—and it sounds like you do—acknowledge that you’ve got long-standing plans with friends, but you’re glad you have someone to crush on.

Just because you’re cynical about Big Stationary, it doesn’t mean you can’t be sweet.

Add in a haircut too if you feel he’s in need of some grooming.

You don’t want to seem like a crazy stage-five clinger and get something too nice, but you also don’t want to seem like a selfish ass and not get anything. Think of it as the woman’s equivalent of getting a facial.

For the wine connoisseur, what’s better than a subscription to a wine club?

There are going to be dangling pink streamers in storefronts and lots advertisements for chocolate and necklaces that are improbably shaped into hearts.

BOOK HIM A SHAVE Men can be picky on where they like to get their hair cut, but most don’t treat themselves to a straight-razor shave at the shop as well.

We’ve rounded up personal and unique gifts that will blow away your man for this, let’s be honest, made-up Hallmark holiday.

Imagine if you were faced with a Saturday or Friday, or even a Sunday Valentine’s Day.

It’s Valentine’s Tuesday and it's a work night and you have a lot more leeway to do whatever you would usually be doing on a Tuesday night, which probably wouldn’t include trying to wedge a card into a pile of dead, upright plants. I wish greeting card companies well, because I’ve spent a larger than usual portion of my life browsing card aisles, because I am bad at being on time, which means I’m sometimes very early and I need to amuse myself in a CVS.

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